Dear Chandler Fire Department,
I regard the progress on your fire station on north Alma School Road at about Stottler Drive regularly as I drive Danger Wagon to Sozo Coffee. There’s a clear art to designing a firehouse. The successful design reflects tradition while complementing the surrounding neighborhood, all the while projecting stability, safety and security. It’s no small feat, and you’ve excelled with the expansion/remodel.
I noticed the addition of some statuary that seems to depict red and orange flames bracketing firefighting tools like giant overheated parentheses. This is the part I don’t understand. If you’re hitchhiking across America and you get a fire going to finally stop your chattering teeth, the legality of whose boat you’re burning takes a back seat to the comfort brought on by the heat. In that instance, fire is your friend.
But if you’re a firefighter, I imagine fire is nearly always the enemy! It’s right there in the name firefighter. Erecting a monument to flames in front of a firehouse is akin to putting a statue of Hitler in front of a synagogue, a statue of a donut in front of Weight Watchers or a statue of Sylvester Stallone in front of a linguistics center.
Know your enemy, understand your enemy, but for crying out loud in your soup, don’t glorify your enemy in statue form! Next thing I know, you’ll encourage children to make those hair spray blowtorches like we used to do back in the 80’s. (Do you suppose that’s why you can’t buy Aqua Net anymore?) (Okay, I’m not gonna lie, Aqua Net blowtorches were the best.)
Please give my regards to the dalmatian,
–Scott Lamber
P.S. – What’s your hot take on Flamin’ Hot Cheetos?
Submitted to the Chandler (Arizona) Fire Department via their website on Thursday, February 22, 2024 at 3:45 p.m.
Thank you again for sharing your thoughts. The inquiry you submitted is now closed. Please feel free to contact us again should you have any additional comments or questions.
Status: Completed
Request # 24-02-1062
Category Type: Fire
Problem: Citizen Input
Received from service@chandleraz.gov on February 26, 2024 at 1:20 p.m.
As a Chandler resident, I hope they’re better at emergency response than written response. : /
I reduced the score from 1.3 to 1.0 because they cited Citizen Input as a Problem.
The Lamber Letters 