Dear Krispy Kreme,
Dunkin’, how did it make you feel when I referred to you by the wrong name? Unsettling, I imagine.
This afternoon you again cleverly replaced four bucks from my bank account with a refreshing beverage. Your iced coffees are magical and I’m deffo under their thrall. I stopped into your location at 2420 West Bethany Home Road in Phoenix where the java wench cheerfully handed me my afternoon fix.
Feeling peckish, I then asked for an old fashioned donut and immediately ventured out to Fry (my truck) to retrieve the requisite two bucks. I paid, jacked the snack sack and hit the track. A mile later I reached into the bag and retrieved… a plain, unfrosted cake donut! (Doh!)
I zipped manically across three lanes of traffic, nearly causing a large truck to kill me in the process and exited at Indian School Road, retraced the two miles and returned the wrong donut. I donut know the employee’s name, but she was very professional when she explained to me that the donut I meant to order is called a “sour cream donut.”
Dunkin’ has made impressive strides since the 90’s. I wouldn’t set foot in one back then. They were dirty and the donuts somehow tasted like cigarette ash. Now they’re clean and nice and I’m in there like it’s my job. While America probably does run on Dunkin, this still doesn’t give Dunkin the power to re-name a timeless classic.
I confirmed that the plain cake donut is indeed what Dunkin refers to as an Old Fashioned.
Go ahead — do an online image search for “old fashioned donut.” I’ll wait. There are a couple of exceptions, but the results overwhelmingly indicate that at least 95% of us hold a proper, time-honored understanding of what constitutes an old fashioned donut.
No matter how successful or innovative they are, car companies don’t call their pickup trucks “vans,” appliance companies don’t call refrigerators “ovens” and donut companies shouldn’t call plain cake donuts “old fashioneds.”
This failed company policy cost me an estimated sixty cents in fuel, 12 minutes in time and $148,650 in mental anguish. I’ll gladly accept my recompense in free iced coffees and/or Old Fashioned donuts (not to be confused with unfrosted, plain cake donuts which no one in his right mind would ever eat).
Sincerely,
–Scott Lamber
Submitted to dunkindonuts.com on April 2, 2024 at 9:16 p.m.
Hello Scott Lamber,
Thank you for contacting Dunkin.
We’re sorry to hear about the issue you experienced! We want every restaurant experience to be a great one, and we’d like to have this addressed for you. As you may know, a majority of Dunkin’ restaurants are individually owned and operated, and we will notify the owner of this location of your experience. We appreciate your feedback, and we insist that your next item be on us.
We have attached a single-use $3.00 coupon to this email to use towards your next visit at 2420 W. Bethany Home Rd, Phoenix, AZ 85015. Guest satisfaction is a top priority for our brand and franchisees, and we hope you’ll give Dunkin’ another chance and come back again soon.
Please note, this offer cannot be combined with other offers, coupons, or discounts, and is not available in the Dunkin’ app.
QR Code# 99537301761344965769
Expiration Date : 2024-05-15
Received on Wednesday, April 3, 2024 at 4:07a. (I used my coupon on Thursday, April 4, 2024!)
The Lamber Letters 